ELust - edition 55

 Photo courtesy of Sex with Rose
Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #56? Start with the rules, come back March 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~
Why I Post Nude Photos (and blog about sex)
Discovering Myself Through My Strap-On
Sex Toy Shaming and Bigoted Wise Cracks, FTW!

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~
Aftercare and BDSM Play
Two worlds

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~
*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

Regulating Our Fantasies

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Fiction
Come Again
Undiluted
Shudder
Tattoo
And When I Take You.....
Ride on the Night bus
Superotica Valentine - Day 1
The spelling lesson

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
Please let me just say "no."
5 Easy Mistakes to Make While Flirting
SexyLittleIdeas - The Woman in the Dark Alley
Comparisons
Treasured Property
Supporting Love and Freedom
Predicting My Own Future
Let's Go Down Again
How to eat my pussy
10 (non-sexual) ways to be intimate with your
Permission to be Human: Granted.
Squirting: What Science Says

Erotic Non-Fiction
Date with V. (N. Likes)
Luscious
Saving Movie Night
Wicked Wednesday: Nervous
The Painter
Stolen Moments Turn Into Treasured Memories
The Art of the Blow Job and Deepthroat
Stun Guns & Happiness
Fatal's First Time (with a Hitachi)
First Session
Probation Officer #145: Bowre of blisse 9
Trust Games

Blogging
you will ask Me to fuck your ass
Fish & Chips
This is not an invitation
Men I Have Known
My Storyyy (Trigger Warning)

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish
More Than Whips and Chains
Being shouted at: kink or abuse?
Explaining violence and sex
Awww Yeah – Targeted Marketing!
Grass is always greener - swinging
Lazy Dog Sex Position

Sex News,Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor
Valentine's Day Sex Toy Selections
Discovering My Sexuality
Pathologizing Male Aggression

Poetry
Sex is...

Sinful Sunday - docking station

Some things just fit together

Sorry for being so quiet, normal service shall resume in 2 weeks. Lots happening personally at the moment and I'm needing to keep head down and focused. 

YSL is being such a source of strength and support as well as keep a huge smile in my face. 

ELust #54

  Photo courtesy of  Gritty Woman
Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at e[lust].  Want to be included in e[lust] #55? Start with the rules, come back February 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~
How children will break UK Internet filters.
Submissive, Not Passive
When Sex and Disabilities Collide 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~
Tribute to a Selfie
The Pawn

~ Readers Choice from  Sexbytes ~
*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

Women write about sex shocker!

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Blogging
My 20 of 2013
Hello 2014

Erotic Fiction
Call Me Maybe
To Watch...
Holiday Travails
The third message
So You Want to Worship Me...Start Here.
Three Stories Up
Men in cages
Lucky Mascot - Huddle: Sex With Sporty Queers

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
Sex Toys Storage: Hiding from People
SexyLittleIdeas -11 Annoying yet Sexual Dares
His PTSD Cheated on Me
Cum
You're Art but I'm Not
Anger and intimacy
Among a Sea of Submissives
Object
My experiences with unwanted intercourse

Erotic Non-Fiction
Phoenix lies and gets herself in trouble
The Storm Behind the Calm
Why I eat your pussy
Light My Fire - Zoe Tries Fire Play
Spreading Christmas Cheer
I write a letter to The Neighbor
Humiliation
Sa'afia's punishment night (1st IV scenes)
Both ends of the spectrum
Love of Flesh; Want for Blood
First Blush
Birthday Burning

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish
Dear Mollena...
The Best Motivator
on liberties taken.
Submission, More Than A Feeling
Breaking Prude - The Dirty Seven

Poetry
Just Touch It
A Time To Cum

Sex News,Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor
Shoe Fetishism - RZ

Swinging - the grass is always greener?

Swinging - The Grass is always greener?

As long time blog readers will know, Yummy and I met throughwww.fabswingers.com(http://heelsnstocking.blogspot.co.uk/2011/04/optimistic-i-found-something-special.html) and we have developed and enjoyed a very deep and positive relationship from our first meeting through to the present day where we have not had a cross word between us, we think in similar ways, have similar values and still have an strong sexual desire for each other.

And as blog readers will also know, we also enjoy recreational sex with others in a swinging capacity too. Since we have been together, we have always met with others together and neither of us have any interest in going off to 'a meet' on a solo basis, or 'playing with permission', as it is known in the swinging the world. This is because we view swinging as an extension of our relationship where we have an opportunity to view each other enjoying themselves with others as opposed to simply looking for sex with others to relieve monotony or other such boredoms.

Following agreement from Yummy when I asked her last week, I thought that I would like to write a small piece about swinging from different perspectives as we now have experience in this area as a couple, single female and single male as each category often thinks that another category has an easier time and more fun than another............however do they, is the grass always greener?

The Single Male

I used to have a single male profile and I always appreciated that single males are the dominant category in terms of absolute numbers so felt that couples and single females could afford to be choosey about who they decided to proceed with. With this in mind, I only approached and contacted profiles that genuinely interested me and as such, put in what I assumed was the normal work for first communicating with a profile, i.e. addressing them by their names in the salutation,  
responding to wording and interests in their profile and outlining things about myself. Not all messages got a reply and many were simply deleted, however I always took the view that there is no point in getting frustrated about this and protesting to them or following further communications as they clearly don't feel the same way about my profile as I did about theirs, and starting a row with someone isn't going to make them like me is it?

For those who did reply to me, I often received expressions of surprise and gratitude that someone had actually taken the time to write to them properly and treat them like real living people, which were nice compliments for me to receive, however I didn't really appreciate what all of this actually meant until I became a member of another category! As exchanges progressed to agreed meetings, I always arrived on time, showered, shaved, appropriately dressed and as I have said to Yummy on a number of occasions, I had a 100% record as a single male as from an initial social meeting/drinks, the evening would always end with me enjoying the other person/people intimately. I don't say this to boast as I like to think that I am quite a self aware person and on every meet, I never once took it for granted that it would end with sex, however I was often complimented on how pleasant I was, a conversationalist and that I had done what was agreed, such as being there on time and so forth.

I remember a couple of meets with two couples, on separate occasions, where the female partner arrived looking jaded and disinterested, but within half an hour of initial conversation, their mood lightened and they became engaged in the meet. On the second occasion of this, by the time that I was lying naked on their living room floor at 2 in the morning, they admitted that they had come out in a frosty mood and were only going to meet for coffee and nothing more, but the lady changed her mind during our conversation. What was this all about I was thinking, in general, but still not fully appreciating it.

So anyway, so it went on until I met Yummy and six months after we met we both moved into the couples category. However, before I move on to that, a little section on the single female perspective as it has been related to me from various ladies.

The Single Female

This is the category that everyone (apart from the single females) thinks is having the time of their lives and an easy ride in the swinging community, but are they? A common phrase in the swinging world is 'the unicorn' or 'the elusive single bi female', so named as it is commonly believed that bisexual single ladies are difficult to find or that there are so few of them that a couple is lucky to meet up with one. However, as both a single male and a couple, this hasn't been my experience. I have met and enjoyed many bi single females and with Yummy, regularly enjoy MFF experiences. Notably we have one lovely lady that is very keen on us and we very much appreciate in return and in another case, we have another lovely lady who stayed overnight with us.....which was nice :D

So, if we experience this but they are commonly viewed as 'elusive', how can this paradox come about?

The number of single females with profiles is lower than that of males and couples, therefore they have more attention focused upon them, and as such they receive more mail, which you would think would be great for them, but it's not as most of the mail is simply dross from no-hopers who don't read the profile, don't care about them as a person (it's just a female up for sex), send one liners that aren't even written in English and even more lazily than that, they simply copy and paste this rubbish into messages to every female they can find a profile for. So all of this happens multiple times, a females inbox is overwhelmed (and we are literally talking hundreds of messages per day here) and the female simply tires of going through the process of opening up all of these messages from people who aren't even trying and have no specific interest in them. As a result of this, on occasion a decent communication will be overlooked/deleted without reading and it is not uncommon for females to simply do a wholesale delete on all unread messages to make their inbox manageable again.

When it comes to meets, females are often let down, especially by single males, they may not turn up as agreed, they may be of a completely different age from what they claimed, they may have sent pictures of themselves from several years ago, but unable to hold a conversation and so forth.

So, the grass isn't looking so green for single females, surely it must be easy for couples then?

The Couple

For the average person, I'm sure that the words 'swingers' and 'swinging' will conjure up the traditional thoughts of couples 'round at each other's houses picking car keys out of a bowl and so forth, so surely with this supposed heritage and the inherent maturity and possibly stability  of couples, they will be the most reliable and be having the most fun with each other?

Well, for starters, if a couple wishes to meet with another couple, for it to be successful for all concerned, we now have four people who have to be in agreement that they all like each other, which is obviously a greater number than the two, if it's a 1:1 singles meet. I like to think that I am discriminating in who I would wish to meet with and subsequently pursue further and I know that Yummy most certainly is, so this filters out a lot of couples, however the biggest issue for us is usually the male half of a couple. This isn't because Yummy has impossibly high standards and it isn't because I am overprotective, after all I want to see Yummy enjoy herself with another man and as I am bi, I am more than happy to be in close proximity to another man, it is because they often are simply severely lacking in one or multiple areas. We see many profiles and have met couples where the lady is very attractive and we like, but when it comes to the male partner, there is just no way!!! Examples of this can be lack of intelligence, lack of personal hygiene, cannot behave to social norms or is just plain ugly!!! The height of this had to be the sufferance that Yummy very generously gave to me for the guy who stank of cigarettes and only had one tooth!!! His female partner was delightful and we really liked her, although even she must have had enough as they split up a few months after we met them.

OK then, if meeting other couples has its difficulties, surely this elusive bi female must be impossible? Well, as above, we seem to have enjoyed single females very nicely, however there are a number of ladies with profiles that neither of us wish to engage with and I made a monumental error of judgement with one single female for us recently that I certainly don't wish to repeathttp://heelsnstocking.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/sinful-sunday-both-ends-of-spectrum.html so just because they are single, female and bi, it doesn't mean that all will be well.

As above, there is no shortage of single males, so now that I am in a different category, surely it must be fun for me to be on the other end and simply pick and choose who we play with??? Oh dear god, this was the area where I got the biggest shock of my swinging life experience.

  

I had assumed that as all males know they are in the majority in terms of numbers, they would up their game and set out to impress, just like the old days when chatting up women in bars, make sure the clothes look good, the hair is in place and the chat up lines are good......how wrong I was. We regularly get one liners along the lines of 'wonna meat', 'wot yous up 2', 'fancy suckin me cock', 'U up 4 fun' and so on. Obviously from day one, these types of messages have failed the first filter test of being able to write legibly. The second filter test is what do these males look like? Ugliness seems to be a common factor, not just in the face department, but also the cock, in terms of 'erm, really? you think you can seriously call yourself a 'bull' with that pathetic thing??', wildly growing and uncheck pubes and so forth.

In the early days of us seeking single males, once the above filters had been passed and a meet was agreed, I thought that it would be plain sailing from here and MMF fun would be commencing shortly, however, the reality of a man in front of you can be quite different from the picture built up from a series of message exchanges. We had one guy who we had both separately built up in our minds as being a sophisticated designer type person, was in fact a short, squat bald man with thick glasses, another who turned up in what could be best described as old clothes, another who could write extraordinarily well but the reality was a short, bearded dog owner who couldn't hold a face to face conversation. It has simply been a revelation to me that many men don't put any effort at all into attempting to impress others when the whole point of communicating/meeting with others in this way to engage in the most intimate acts that humans can have.

After a social meeting with a single guy and he passes the tests, everything fine, right? Erm not always. Common errors can be guys who have large cocks, often can't get them erect, and we are not being shallow here and expecting people to perform on cue, in fact one guy we had, we quite liked but he was very nervous and as expected, he couldn't perform, but we really enjoyed the evening with him, although of course he was very conscious of his failing, but we did all that we could to reassure him that it wasn't an issue and there are many other ways to enjoy each other. We had another guy would as the night progressed kept 'having to leave the room' for increasingly prolonged periods and it became apparent that he was coming down with 'Columbian flu'. We've had guys who were purportedly bi where we both gave them heavenly double BJs, but nothing was reciprocated. Other guys who once they have cum, all interest is immediately lost and the night is over. And then there are the 'grabby' guys who have no finesse, can't believe their luck and the situation that they are in and it is hands all over the place grabbing and squeezing tits and genitals in an excited and unsophisticated manner that is of course not sexually appealing in any way at all.  However the worst and most surprising incident ishttp://heelsnstocking.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/please-ignore-i-just-needed-to-rant.html where following our usual fantastic double BJ delight, the guy refused to wear a condom and simply didn't wish to continue any sexual play whatsoever due to our refusal to play bareback.

Conclusion

So what am I trying to say with this piece? When I discussed it with Yummy, I initially thought that it may be a guide as to how to successfully progress as a swinger, but then having read a number of forums recently, I remembered that we all have different perspectives, aspirations and qualities that we look for and are prepared to accept, so it's likely that my words above are just simply my views, experiences and thoughts, which are equally as valid as someone else's who may take a different view.

On reflection, what I have attempted to do is to provide an overview of the experiences that Yummy and I have had in the three swinging categories that we have collectively been in and we have therefore  had the luxury of metaphorically sitting on both sides of the table and knowing what it is like in regards to giving and receiving.

We know that we are not alone or unique in any of these experiences as we regularly swap stories with others who have had variations on the above and indeed, if you are interested in further reading, this book is an excellent and very valid account of swinging in the UK which still holds true todayhttp://www.amazon.co.uk/Swingers-1-Going-all-Way/dp/1905886640 . It is written by the male half of a couple that have been swinging for a good number of years and run a Swinging Club in the North of England.
We can relate to a number of the anecdotes that are shared in the book such as 'timewasters' (i.e. people who don't meet, although initial suggestions are otherwise) and couples who are selfish in their desires and have no regard for who they are with and so on.

Overall, our meetings with others have been positive, but it really is a game of patience this swinging business and doing it right, knowing the signs to look for and holding out for the right people. Even with our experience, we still to this day don't get it right every time, but when it works, it is such a wonderful and thrilling experience that we delight in sharing together.

Cap D'Agde club review -Melrose

Melrose

No Website, although Tripadvisor has many reviews on ithttp://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g196602-d1553899-r159901240-Cap_d_Agde_Naturist_Village-Cap_d_Agde_Agde_Herault_Languedoc_Roussillon.html

5:00pm - 02:00am

This is a free of charge entry bar that is located in Section 5 of Port Nature and is right at the end of a small row of bars and is really not difficult to find once you are in the area. When all of the other bars are embarrassingly empty, this one is stuffed with bodies and the tunes are booming out.

We have only been in this bar once, but have passed it many times on our way to other clubs. The music is dance, the sound system is good and it is like there is a permanent party doing on in there with customers pole dancing and simply having the time of their lives.

The bar is open sided, so you can see in, and this is what the groups of single guys do who can't get in to the couples only clubs. The guys have always seemed fine to us, not intimidating or overstepping the mark as we have passed.

On our one visit, we enjoyed good drinks, a great atmosphere and YSL enjoyed masturbating Yummy at the bar whilst we were both standing there :)

If it's so great, why haven't we returned since our one venture on our first trip? We guess it's really because we have bars that are just as lively at home (bar the public nudity and sex of course) and our treats in France are the clubs and the fantastic beers and wine that we can buy from the supermarkets and enjoy in our apartment, so why would we spend our short, precious time in France in a bar. Having said this, it is a great place, we enjoy looking in as we pass and we got the tune that they constantly played in our heads for the whole week in 2013, Thrift Shop by Macklemore, which was annoyingly welcome. I've got twenty dollars in ma pocket!!!!

Cap D'Agde Club review - Clair Obscur

Clair Obscur

http://www.club-sm-clairobscur.com

8:00pm - 02:00am (Opening days vary according to season)

This is a fetish/BDSM club that is located in Port Ambonne

We have visited this club once every year on our three trips to Cap and it has always been a pleasure and an eye opener.

The dress code is very strict for this club and YSL was turned away on the first year for the crime of wearing a white shirt. To remedy this issue, he had to buy a black shirt to match his black jeans and boots. The dress code is, either all black, or fetishwear, not standard sexual wear. It is also a couples only club and we have seen a number of single guys turned away.

Once you have passed the dress test with the guy on the door, he opens it and you enter into a very small area for paying your entrance. Entrance for couples is €55 with two drinks and they also have a complimentary buffet available all night. After payment, you pass through the heavy red velvet curtain and you enter the club itself.

To the left is the bar and a drinking area and further through that way is another dining area along with the buffet. To the right and all of the way up a corridor, there are a number of fetish rooms and at the top of the corridor is a larger room that contains more fetish equipment.

The side rooms have equipment such as St Andrews crosses and a wooden horse (complete with a variety of different sized wooden dildos to ride on) and in the large top room there is a medical table, enema equipment, a wheel, a cage that rises, swing, prison cages and a small mezzanine for pets who have been naughty.

You can take your own equipment, as many do, and there is also a very amply stocked range of paddles and whips at the side of the bar to select from.

The music is a constant drone of gothic style that provides good atmosphere and goes very well with the clientele, the majority of which are clearly enthusiasts in the scene and in no way 'mere tourists' gawping at what this BDSM business might be all about.

Nothing is too outlandish or outrageous in this club and everyone is made to feel welcome, whatever their fetish and nobody laughs at them or makes them feel foolish. Every time we have visited we have seen a number of woman crawling on the floor after their master and eating food from their dog bowl, we have also seen a guy being very heavily fisted, a sissy made to expose himself to the room, an elderly couple enjoying caning and a D/s couple where he was whipping her and drawing blood!!!

The Madam who runs the club clearly takes the lifestyle very seriously and it is a place for people who are either in the lifestyle or can appreciate it and it is most certainly not your average holidaymaker club.

TMI- thoughts during sex

1) What was the last fantasy you thought about while masturbating?

YSL: I enjoy reading the stories on a UK swinging website and the last one I read was about two men (a husband and a new acquaintance) who took it in turns all night to fill the wife full of cum.

Yummy: I fantasised on Sunday morning about a previous sexual encounter that we had in 2013 details of which are here- A fantasy Fulfilled. It was brought to mind as the gentleman in question has recently messaged us. I was quite surprised as he had proclaimed that he wasnt into BBW's but it seems according to his profile I have converted him.Essential though my fantasy was that YSL was straddling and fucking my mouth whilst holding my legs open for our friend to enjoy me.

2) Do you think about fantasies while playing with your partner?

YSL: I don't so much think of fantasies for myself and wander off with them, however I do on occassion recite stories that I make up as I go along and whisper them in Yummy's ear as we play. I think we both like it :)

Yummy: I often think of things we have done togther or things I want to do with YSL. SOmetimes it feels like he reads my mind as he puts my unsaid words into action. I adore it when YSL whispers in my ear a fantasy for us both, it excites me so much.

3) If the sex isn’t that great do you find your mind wanders? If yes, to what?

YSL: What?? There are times when sex isn't great??

Yummy: Clearly wine if my last occassion is anything to go by! Thankfully its a rare occassion sex is poor and its been compensated by grfeater passion between us when the disapointment has left the premises!

4) Have you ever thought about a previous partner while with another?

YSL: I always enjoy and think about the partner that I am with

Yummy: Yes but not in a singular way, I have thought about being shared by 2 men with equal passion and love for me so the thoughts of YSL and a previous lover have entered my head.

5) What is the biggest turn-off thought that has barged into your head at the wrong moment?

YSL: I am focused and keep my mind on the job in hand

Yummy: Generally when have sex or sharing intimacy I am so into the moment no other thoughts can enter my mind. I have had an ocassion that as I went to kiss a lady I stopped dead in my tracks as she had just drank neat vodka and had the same perfum as my mother who had just died..

Bonus: If you were to think of another blogger during sexual play (intercourse, masturbating, etc.) to spice things up, who would it be? (put a link to their blog so we can all go think of them) 

Jack and Jill:http://frisky916cpl.blogspot.co.uk 

and   

MyKey http://outsidevanilla.blogspot.co.uk

Go see who else played http://tmituesdayblog.wordpress.com/