Friday, 27 January 2012

I hear that swinging couples are actually very loyal to their partners. You clearly are loyal to YSL with your sexual openess in your blog. Do you consider yourself something like a swinger?

In short yes I do consider myself a ‘swinger’ but so many people have such differing views of what swinging is.

I remember when I first read about it in the book Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker that it totally blew away the myth of it being middle age suburban couples chucking keys in a bowl. I learned it was about enjoying my sexuality without complications or boundaries. As a single females swinging its more like dating with the sex rules upfront. I found it refreshing to be able to explicitly state my wants; safe sex a must, I want oral, love fisting, anal and want conversation and sustained all night fun.
I’ve learned so many other things about swinging and yes the loyalty is true but that comes down to having such openness between each other. Since I met YSL last April I haven’t met with anyone else without him present and I don’t want too. Any pleasure I have had with others YSL as been in touching distance or as my first full swinging experience of being fucked by another man YSL was holding me close and encouraging my pleasure. The first 3 months of our relationship was also totally exclusive to each other, we even joke we were the worlds worst swingers, which gave us the strong foundations and trust that we enjoy now.
On the downside you hear of marriages that go wrong due to trying swinging but this is often due to couples thinking it will spice up a mundane sex life. With ourselves we only play with others to add to our experience, not to create one. I think the key to swing successfully comes down to clear communication between each other. Before and after each swinging experience we talk through expectations, making sure both of us are happy and not just seeing it through and taking one for the team. It’s always about shared pleasure.
In Cap D’Adge I remember commenting to YSL as we sat outside having dinner one night, as couples left the apartment blocks dressed up for a fun night swinging, how visible the affection and the pride in each other was, how tactile, not in a over sexual sense but just the kissing and hand holding all things often missing in marriages as the years build up. There was certainly no signs of complacency or neglect in any of the swinging couples which is more often the case.

I've read lots of other points of view and some great advice also over at the sex community part of I highly recomend having a look.

1 comment:

  1. There does seem to be some leeway with regard to what qualifies as swinging. Once, while chatting with someone online, we were asked if we were swingers, and I said no as our experience has been limited primarily to threesomes. She insisted that that qualified as swinging.

    We enjoy reading about the intricacies of your relationship; ideally the fact that there is so much love between you and YSL would go a long way in shattering the myth among sex-negatives that swinging relationships are dysfunctional.