Monday, 18 March 2013


I get asked quite frequently by email about how we arrange meeting other swingers so I thought I'd do a short post about it. We are part of an online swingers community, there's a few out there to choose from but my favourite is I first discovered Fab when I was looking for an alternative to Swinging Heaven which I had read about in a book (Butcher, Baker, Candle Stick Maker by Suzanne Portnoy). Swinging Heaven didn't work well on my phone and to use most of the features you had to pay, at the time I didn't know if the lifestyle was for me so didn't want to part with any cash.

Fabswingers was and still is free, you can upgrade if you want, they have some groovy extra features like who's been looking at your profile, add more than 12 images or want to watch more web cams, but it certainly doesn't restrict you finding singles and couple on the free option.

I met YSL on Fab almost 2 years ago now, I don't use my single profile any more and we have 2 joint profiles together. We have 2 as the first one is very couple orientated and doesn't focus on our bi sides which can put some couples off and the other is very clearly looking for bisexual experiences.

Using a site like this for me helped weed out the nutters,see who was trust worthy and had a good reputation. You leave feedback kind of like on EBay so you can see what you are letting yourself in for.

When I first read about swinging from a female perspective it really opened my eyes. I had previously had the stereotype of middle aged couples in suburban areas meeting to chuck keys in a bowl and swap partners. How far I was from the truth, the biggest thing I have learnt is swinging has so many facets and meanings, different people look for such different experiences.

As a single female I enjoyed the openness of approaching a partner, being able to specify what you like/want/need from sex and a relationship. Both myself and YSL were looking for No Strings Attached friendship and quality sex. We didn't anticipate falling in love but the dynamic for us still works. It wasn't because we didn't want love in our lives it was so we didn't add complications to our other parts of of lives.

We meet couples and singles either alone or at clubs and we love hearing how they first go into swinging, how they first broached the subject and what they get out of it. It's amazing how many times we hear it's the woman that suggested it and we often find it's the woman driving it putting pay to the myth that its all just randy men wanting to legitimise sleeping with other women in their marriage.

If you swing I would love you to share in comments either how you started or any if your experiences. I would be happy to post any full stories as a guest post, just mail me and ask.

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  1. I am in an open relationship and we have met most of our partners on OkCupid. At least where I live (Portland) there is a big community of people in open relationships who are on that site. Because we don't really identify as poly or swingers we're in this middle area where we're just looking for new experiences or friendships and it's worked really well for us there. The only unfortunate thing is that they don't have an easy way for couples to join the site together on a joint profile.

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